like honestly . i tried to convince my mom i couldn’t go to Disneyland MY FAV PLACE just so i wouldn’t miss practice. so she emails my coordinator to see if it would be crucial but, no response. my mom doesn’t tell me this. she said everything is fine with my coaches and shit. but then halfway through the trip Gennie calls me freaking out about to break down cause I’m NOT on comp anymore. …..EXCUSE ME?! competing on that stage is my life. i thought it was a misunderstanding .
but when i check my email, nope. I’m kicked off. for missing a day of practice. that my mom said i could just make up. i thought everything was handled. my passion. taken from me. my life. taken from me. everything. i couldn’t feel anything. i stared blankly at the screen.
no one understands how much i love cheerleading . COMPETITIVE cheerleading. i’ve been performing since i can remember. what do i do now? sure I’m still on game cheer but thats not the same. i love my coaches and i love everyone on that team. why am i getting punished for a vacation i didn’t want to go on until i thought everything was okay between the coaches?
i just don’t understand. i thought i was a good cheerleader. base. dancer. performer. my coordinator said my commitment is being questioned . MY COMMITMENT. i showed up everyday with my stomach condition, not to mention i went to try outs when i was still on ANESECIA, and i was going to try and actually do the dance/chant until my coach told me to sit out. I’ve never sat out at practice (unless i faint), i dress up every spirit day, I’m always at games. so why is my spot taken away ?
my cheerleading contract says i can’t be taken off without missing excessively . ITS THE FIRST PRACTICE OF THE YEAR . I’ve never been so depressed like this . not even over a boy. I’ve even considered half year on my old all star team, just to be on the stage and help beginner cheerleaders.
the whole reason i did my high school cheer team was because the coach wanted me to, because she thought i was good. i left my cheer gym family to be on high school cheer. and for what. to cheer on boys who tell me to my FACE that cheerleaders are the reason they lose games. that we’re “distractions” “cheerleading isn’t a sport” and all that crap . football players don’t even deserve us cheering them on . they don’t even respect us . ugh . i just wanna break down . give up faith that my coach will change her mind and see she’s making a mistake .
i only have 2 more years of high school, and spending even one of them without performing feels like a waste of a year.
3 notes #cheerleading #competition team #fml #personal #vent #kill me now